I'm an addict....

I thought about starting a new blog to detail the new journey that I am on.  But then how would I or anyone else know the struggle that this has been for me.  How would I recognize or remember the long path that it's been.  I feel an obligation to be as real as possible for myself and anyone else who has encountered this troubling relationship with food. 

I've recently discovered or taken the first step to recovery.  I am addicted to food.   I have never learned the proper way to eat, and happy, sad, stressed or bored food has been my comforter.  I started reading a book.  The Hunger Fix by Pamela Peeke, and it has opened my eyes to how I really viewed food, but never allowed myself to admit.  So I discover it's time for me to go to rehab.  I need to learn how to eat, and I need someone to help me.  I had done some research online and looked into Weight Watchers.  I had done it onece before for 2 months, but never really took it seriously.  

Yesterday I found a WW meeting and just went, and drug my husband with me.   I sat through the meeting, amongst people that I didn't feel insecure around, and was completely grateful.  The joy I felt was so rewarding.  You always say i know I'm not alone, but in that meeting I really felt it, and I was truly comforted.  I signed up and here we go. 

The funny thing is as soon as I walked out of the meeting my first thought was, hmmm maybe I should have a final meal, and celebrate my new path.  But this time I stopped and made a choice to start and just do my best.  They say for people with drug addiction, relapse is apart of rehab.  So I'm just going to try and go to meetings, allow people to get close, and be proud of myself.  

My name is Corinne and I am a food addict.  Lord thank you for the trials in my life, because I know somewhere down the line when you are ready to show me, it will turn into good.  I am going to develop a character I could only have developed by my trials.  

My body is with me wherever I go...

The saga continues. It's been several months and creating a physical transformation continues.  For better or worse my body is still my body.   The road is difficult but I think the lesson I've learned so far is, my body is still my body.  When I post these blogs it's a different space and time but I bring my body along with my in this world.  Taking care of my body is important and it's coming with me on this journey.

Although the road is still rough, my attitude is positive and hopeful. It's not a competition, not even with myself.  The urge to progress and try and keep up with what we think is the optimal, is exhausting.  My prayer is to stay hopeful, and move forward with a new story, a story.

My God loves me, my husband loves me, my children and family loves me.

* late i forgot to publish this one.

Day 1: Insanity Workout

Ok. So today was my first day of insanity.  I thought maybe I should post some in between of how I came to this position, but I'm sure it's the same as everyone else. The time passes and the food has been unplanned and frankly not thoughtful.  But that's ok and I'm going to try and be positive, and say it doesn't matter what happened between then and now. So I move forward with hope in my heart.

Day One was tough, I was out of breath and my feet hurt. My husband and I are going through the program together and trying to support each other. It is a new thing to workout with him, but so far so good. We were both thrown off a little not knowing what to expect. Day One was the fit test, it pretty much gives you a bar to measure your results not in inches or lbs but how many reps you can do of some of the core exercises.  They were pretty intense and for people that need to lose 50+ lbs it was tough on my body.  We sweat more in the routine than I had in many longer workouts.

Food For Thought:
I was making chicken nuggets and mac & cheese for my kids when I did the workout, and that made me completely nauseous.  Thinking ya that just wasn't worth it eating something that was semi-good or do these crazy workouts. LOL.

I hope that like my workouts my blogs will get better too....